Rejoice, the cleansing of my lips – rejoice, salvation of my soul!
But I still have a thousand half-loves
mewithoutYou ~ Seven Sisters
For when you feel your sins make you a vastly more interesting, multi-dimensional, well rounded person. And you know what? Maybe you like them there, fking you all up. Maybe you didn’t want them taken from you. Maybe you don’t want to be saved. Wholesale eternal salvation, god bless us everyone? Did I opt in to this?? Count me out, you, or someone, might think. Maybe you’re not there yet. But someone might think, you know what actually, I’ll fester here in my unacceptably foul belligerence, bloom from there, I’m sure. Flowers grow from some straight up rot, too.*
Jesus, I want my sins back.
My prattle, pride, and private prices—
climbing, clinching, clocking —
I might loan you a few for the evening,
so you don’t show up at your own crucifixion
naked of all purpose.
But for God’s sake, don’t spill any
redemption on them! They’re my
signature looks. Body by Envy.
Make up & wardrobe provided by Avarice. Lord,
if you take away my inordinate cravings,
what the hell’s left? Do you know
how much I paid for my best rages?
I want them all back if they’re
so To Die For. Else shred my palms,
wash my face with spit, let the whip
unlace my flesh and free the naked blood,
let me be tumbled to immortality
with the stew of flood debris
that is my life.
~ Maria Melendez Kelson, Poetry, March 2014
*Being intellectually lenient along the lines of Hillman thought, here, but you’ll bear with me, I am compelled to weave narratives of light into the utter acceptance of some straight up funk— a natural and necessary and not-to-be-repressed part of being Human. It is Aquarius season. Let us accept our grossness, let us love ourselves despite and for it, and let that love bloom forth into a million sparkling acceptances of all the misgivings of others, and let us understand that we all err, and let us know that in errances we have soul, and let this be a bedrock of acceptance for the foulness of all, and because of all this let us be beacons of warmth and peace and love.
Everybody acts like God is all that
but I got the feeling he ain’t never comin back
so I got an angel that answers my prayers
The Roots ~ When the People Cheer
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image: lee roberts – Fox in the Bluebells